I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
