Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
