'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
How external is "for external use only"?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
