hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
