Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
