The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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