I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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