no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize