So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
im six kinds of drunk right now
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
