my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
