honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
