Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
