He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
