Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
