My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
