im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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