Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
two words: eviction party
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
How naked do you want me to be?
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