i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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