lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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