He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
