She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
