The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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