im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
