marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
zippers are such a cool invention
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
