would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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