I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
