Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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