I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
