god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
