I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
