Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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