it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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