I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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