so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Randomize
