I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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