I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize