I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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