Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
