I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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