She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
