She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
