She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
