hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
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I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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