I think i peed on brittanys purse
where am i from again
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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