a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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