Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize