Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
