Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize