what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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