after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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