somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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