i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
