So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize