i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
