he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster