She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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