the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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