I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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