a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
